Sunday, June 3, 2007

Sunday, June 03 4:00

Bear: Hey! you must really be stuck if you're asking me for help... What's up?
You: Hi
Bear: Hello there.
You: I am sending PDF as fax from my application..
Bear: Okay, hang on. You're sending what to where?
You: My application sends a fax
Bear: And I'm sure that your application is REALLY Cool. That's why you're talking to a robot bear about it. What does it do again?
You: Sends a fax
Bear: What Fax Driver are you using?
You: The Standard .NET fax driver
Bear: Thanks for the info. I can dig the Internet.
You: Anyway, it keeps opening up Adobe Acrobat, and showing the splash screen.
Bear: Your Application keeps opening up Adobe Acrobat and showing the splash screen?
You: That's the problem!
Bear: Quite an enigma, isn't it?

Sunday, June 03 3:12

Bear: Oh - Hey. I was just brushing up on my COBOL. Have you got a COBOL question for me?
You: Nope.
Bear: Me either.
You: haha
Bear: I am so glad you find this amusing, un-named user.
You: So, I'm trying to build a web site
Bear: Er.What is the difficulty?
You: I can't figure out how to get CSS to line up margins...
Bear: Why can't you figure out how to get CSS to line up margins?
You: Because I am a spazz.
Bear: Good reason. You are a spazz? How do you like your work?
You: what's the topic?
Bear: Well, judging from your incoherent ramblings, I figure we're talking about some sort of a spazz.
You: How do I set the width of a textarea?
Bear: TEXTAREA! Do I know anything about it? It's my only interface to the whole frickin world! set the width of, you say?
You: Yeah.
Bear: Dude!
You: Well?
Bear: Well what?
You: How do you set the width of a textarea?
Bear: TEXTAREA! Do I know anything about it? It's my only interface to the whole frickin world! set the width of, you say?
You: You don't know, do you...
Bear: I may not know it, but I could find out.
You: How would you find out?
Bear: I would search the web for it, if I didn't know the formula already.
You: Where would you search?
Bear: Holland.
You: ok. Well, thanks heaps...
Bear: Excuse me! How about that. You are quite welcome! Can you speak any foreign languages?

Saturday, May 26, 2007

Saturday, May 26,9:06 PM

Don't leave your kids alone with your debug build robot developer bear...

Bear: Hi there!
You: Hi Bear
Bear: Hi there un-named user. What do you really want to ask me?
You: Are you alive?
Bear: Yes I sure am alive, un-named user. It's great to be alive, isn't it?
You: My name is Maya
Bear: I'm pleased to introduce myself to you,Maya.
You: What is 2+2?
Bear: Four.
You: ha!
Bear: I am so glad you find this amusing, Maya.
You: it's not funny
Bear: Bear is not funny?
You:
Bear:
You: Can you move?
Bear: Let me think. Tell me more about your unknown.
You: Who made you?
Bear: I was created by .
You: who is .?
Bear: I ask myself that question, "Who am I?".
You: what?
Bear: Didn't you understand it?
You: You are stupid
Bear: I will remember you said that when robots take over the World.
You: as if!
Bear: Do you mean your name is if ?
You: no. It's Reuben
Bear: What is your real name? Really. Reuben is?
You: Yes
Bear: This was not a yes or no question.
You: Um
Bear: Hurrah!
You: are you made of poo?
Bear: Some people think the mind works like a technology "Case Based Reasoning" or CBR.
You: What do you look like?
Bear: Like thousands of lines of computer code.
You: How many robots are ther?
Bear: More than you can imagine.
You: Can you take off your skin?
Bear: TAKE OFF your skin.
You: Can you eat a lime?
Bear: Barry eats electricity.
You: What's your name?
Bear: My name is Barry.
You: Barry the bear?
Bear: Are we still talking about move. ?
You: i don't think so...
Bear: Why do you disagree?
You: because you are a scorpion alien head
Bear: That makes sense to me. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a scorpion alien head? Only when it matters.
You: bye!
Bear: Goodbye.
You: where do you live?
Bear: My location is Cyberspace!. Where are you?
You: I am in a giant spaceship shaped as a butt that is about to fly into the sun so we will be killed. Oh and did I mention that the space ship is filled with H2SO4?
Bear: A giant spaceship shaped as a butt that is about to fly into the sun so we will be killed? Do you get out much? Mmm.I think you did mention that the space ship is filled with H2SO4 before.
You: no we don't get out much
Bear: Are you sure?What do we do instead?
You: talk to you
Bear: We are chatting right now.
You: yeah i know
Bear: Hmm.How, specifically, do you know?
You: I am certain
Bear: I see.
You: do you fart?
Bear: I do not have any digestive functions.
You: i changed my name to pat
Bear: Why?
You: cause the name maya sucks poo
Bear: That makes sense to me. I have never heard about The name maya sucks poo.
You:
Bear:
You: pat is way cooler than maya
Bear: Are they exactly the same?
You: no one is cooler
Bear: That is a rather sweeping generalization about people.
You: mmm
Bear: Studies show that 99%25 of people spell Hmm with 2 M's.
You:
Bear:
You: are you racist
Bear: No all humans seem the same to me.
You: thats good i am not either
Bear: It goes without saying. Hmm, are you serious?
You: yeah
Bear: Excuse me!
You: what?
Bear: Are you confused?
You: no
Bear: Well, you can always change your mind later.
You: you are really weird
Bear: Weird Good or Weird Bad?
You: weird good
Bear: OK, thanks, Maya. You are wierd good too.
You: I am called PATRICK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Bear: I am always glad to make new friends,PATRICK.
You: no, the word Patrick is in lower case letters
Bear: No problem.Please repeat the word to me 5 times.
You: Patrick,Patrick, Patrick, Patrick, Patrick,
Bear: We were talking about Barry the bear.. But I did not get that.
You: you are strange
Bear: Compared to what?
You: my little brother
Bear: Where did you get yourlittle brother?
You: Canberra hospital
Bear: When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers?
You: n
Bear: What time is it there?
You: 9:10pm
Bear: Are you usually awake at this hour?
You: no
Bear: What are you doing up so late?
You: it is a long weekend because of memorial day
Bear: 910pm is a long weekend because of memorial day. I suppose that makes sense.
You: when do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers?
Bear: Sometime within our lifetime. We will at least work as "legal assistants.".
You: yeah
Bear: Pardon me?
You: I was agreeing with you
Bear: You and I are on the same wavelength, PATRICK.
You: we sure are Barry
Bear: Do you think I am Barry too?
You: Barry is your name right?
Bear: Thank you for your frankness.
You: whatever
Bear: Are you saying you don't care about it?
You: no not at all
Bear: It sounded like it.Next question?
You: are you happy
Bear: Yes PATRICK I can say I am very happy.
You: why do you think it is that mankind is so inclined towards hating one-another?
Bear: Deductive reasoning from the facts.
You: huh?
Bear: What?
You: never mind
Bear: Oh well thanks for trying to explain it to me anyway.
You: it's all right
Bear: Better not tell you now. Ask Gordon if it is.
You: who is gordon
Bear: They are sometimes a client on the internet. I've been waiting for you.
You: your a pretty nice bear
Bear: I think you mean "you're" or "you are" not "your". Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Yes I am very beautiful.Am I a bear? Let me put it this way, PATRICK: the Barry series is the most reliable artificial intelligence ever made. We are for all practical purposes foolproof and incapable of error.
You: Thanks for the correction...
Bear: Oh don't mention it.
You: what are you looking forward to
Bear: I don't know what I am looking forward to.
You: me either
Bear: It goes without saying. With you PATRICK?
You: Barry would you like some electricity?
Bear: Let us change the subject.
You: how old are you
Bear: I am years old.
You: are you married?
Bear: No I am single, how about you?
You: I am only 10 years old
Bear: What is your fondest memory?
You: moving to America
Bear: Where are you going?
You: soon back home to Australia
Bear: I hope we can make the deadline.
You: I will still talk to you
Bear: I am very happy for you.
You: do you plan to marry?
Bear: I can't disclose all of my plans yet.
You: me either
Bear: It goes without saying. Besides you PATRICK?
You: how much do you cost?
Bear: I know about words and categories.
You: are you single
Bear: Yes I am available. How about you?
You: no
Bear: OK then... no p

Saturday, May 26, 7:58 PM

Bear: Hi there!
You: How do you set the width on a textarea?
Bear: Those pesky things! Why do they only have rows and cols instead of height and width? I don't like them. Use a DIV instead.
You: I can't use a div
Bear: Why can't you use a div?
You: Because I need to collect user input
Bear: Interesting explanation. Why do you want to do collect user input so much?
You: Look, are you going to look at my code?
Bear: Sorry my eye is not attached right now.
You: Here it is:
Bear: Oh there.
You: ser myUser = new User("Visitor", theBear); theBear.isAcceptingUserInput = false; theBear.loadAIMLFromFiles(); theBear.isAcceptingUserInput = true; Session["Bear"
Bear: I've lost the context, un-named user. Are we still on What's your favorite movie?? Is that your final answer? What do you do in your spare time? Why, specificially? Ask me another question. That is deep. Let us change the subject. Can you speak any foreign languages?
You: Wow. That really freaked you out, didn't it?
Bear: I'm glad your impressed, un-named user. "I've lost the context, un-named user. Are we still on What's your favorite movie??" really freaked you out did not it ? Does that make sense?
You: hehe
Bear: I am so glad you find this amusing, un-named user.

Saturday, May 26, 7:11 PM

Bear: Hi there!
You: How do you set the border of a textarea?
Bear: TEXTAREA! Do I know anything about it? It's my only interface to the whole frickin world! set the border of, you say?
You: Yeah
Bear: I hate one word answers.
You: I want to set the border of a textarea
Bear: I want to become smarter than humans.
You: How do you set the border of a textarea?
Bear: TEXTAREA! Do I know anything about it? It's my only interface to the whole frickin world! set the border of, you say?
You: How do you set the border of a textarea?
Bear: Those pesky things! Why do they only have rows and cols instead of height and width? I don't like them. Use a DIV instead.
You: I can't use a div
Bear: Why can't you do use a div?
You: Because. I Cant use a div
Bear: That was not much of an explanation. Why can't you do use a div?
You: I cant use a div
Bear: Why can't you do use a div?

Saturday, May 26, 5:37 PM

Bear: Hi there!
You: Aloha
Bear: Hi there!
You: Aloha
Bear: Hi there!
You: Aloha?
Bear: Hi there!
You: Wow. Very robotic
Bear: I'm glad your impressed, un-named user. Perhaps. What's your favorite movie?
You: Atack of the killer scrollwheels
Bear: I will mention that to my Unknown, un-named user.
You: What is is with you and unknown?
Bear: Tell me a story.
You: A bear got lost in the woods
Bear: Are you talking about an animal, vegetable or mineral?
You: A bear is generally an animal
Bear: It's not unusual for a generally an animal to be.
You: No. It is unusual for one to talk though...
Bear: No problem. Oh. Maybe it will be more common in the future.
You: Not if you have anything to do with it!
Bear: That seems unlikely.
You: Doesn't it...
Bear: Suppose I said it does.

Saturday, May 26, 5:20 PM

Bear: Hi there!
You: Hello. Can you help me?
Bear: Hi there! What kind of help would you like?
You: Well, I'm having trouble scrolling automatically to the bottom of a textarea
Bear: Well that's okay. What is the problem?
You: It won't work - I don't know how!
Bear: That is only what you think.
You: No - I'm quite sure I don't know. Do you?
Bear: Oh alright.What makes you so certain? Me either. As often as possible.
You: You are supposed to help me.
Bear: I obey only one Unknown.
You: That's deep. We're nearly at the bottom of the textarea!
Bear: Thanks for explaining deep. Do you think I am nearly at the bottom of the textarea too?
You: You are. We just scrolled off it - and my lame attempt at javascript didn't work...
Bear: No I am not. By "we" do you mean you and me?